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The mind of the one year old lasts 100 years — Japanese Proverb
Parenting is the most demanding job you will ever have. Unfortunately, it also seems to be the job many of us may be the least prepared to begin.
If you understand what is happening, you can better prepare to make the experience both beautiful and beneficial.
Everything you do with your child is education: how you speak to him, how you handle him, how you feed him, etc.
Before birth the baby is one with the mother. The infant hears the mother’s voice and heartbeat. At birth, the infant should be put immediately on the mother for warmth and to hear the heartbeat, helping to maintain the sense of security. During the first few days, your child should stay within a yard of you, the mother, because of the special attraction of the mother and infant that resembles the attraction of a magnetic field.
At birth the newborn is introduced to a new environment that she needs help to explore. Dr. Silvana Montanaro, a medical doctor, Montessori academic trainer and author, names this very special period from birth to 9 months the “external pregnancy.” It also lasts until the time when most infants crawl and begin to move away from their mother.
The external pregnancy can be divided into three phases.
During the first 6-8 weeks the mother’s body will be returning to its pre-pregnancy physical state. The mother and child begin to adapt physically and psychologically to each other. Closeness to the mother helps the infant meet his or her need for belonging, for sharing and for developing emotional attachments. It is a time for establishing a basic trust in the world.
Holding the infant very near to the body, handling during dressing, bathing, etc. and feeding are important forms of contact. During breastfeeding, the infant and mother are one again. The face of the mother communicates safety, belonging and nurturing — helping the infant to develop trust.
The infant’s basic needs include direct contact with the mother, a respect for the natural, biological rhythms of the child; and the opportunity to have space for vision and movement so he can explore his new environment. If placed on a flat surface such as a blanket or thin mat, the newborn will slither. On their tummy, infants practice lifting and turning their heads to the opposite side. They use much effort to move.
This article has touched on the importance of the role of the mother during this first period of external pregnancy. But the father also has an important role. The father is indispensable to your child’s development, but in a different way. As Dr. Tomatis wrote in “The Ear and Life,” “For the child the mother is the soil that accepts and nurtures him; but the father is the sun that makes him bloom.”
“Fathers,” Joseph Chilton Pearce says, “provide the bridge between the nest and the world at large.” The father should participate during pregnancy and at childbirth. The father provides a protective barrier for the mother and newborn. The most important contribution of the father is to help the child develop autonomy and independence.
I am looking forward to sharing more with you in Part II.
Judith Cunningham, founder and executive director of the Montessori Model United Nations, has nearly 30 years of experience as a Montessori teacher and administrator in the U.S. and Canada and has traveled in Europe and Asia on behalf of the Montessori community. She holds an AMI Elementary (6-12) Diploma from Bergamo, Italy, in addition to a master’s in counseling psychology and graduate certification in dispute resolution. She heads Oak Farm Montessori School, Avilla. Contact:
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