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Potty training isn’t really what I had imagined. Then again I didn’t have a lot of expectations. Fears, yes. But expectations, no. I think one very important lesson I have learned this far into motherhood is that you can’t plan everything.
My former, non child-having self may have gone out and bought several books on the subject or even created some sort of chart/schedule/list to help us through the situation. But instead, we’ve really let Ella guide us, and learned to rely on the trial and error approach.
In fact, it really wasn’t fully on our radar yet when Ella started showing the “signs” of being ready to potty train. She had developed a habit of telling us when she had wet her diaper. And most of the time we would find her holding it up in the air, to show us the evidence. She was starting to dislike the feel of wet diapers.
When I stumbled upon a top 10 list of “signs your child is ready to pottytrain” and realized that this was one and Ella was showing many others, I figured it was time. Upon further discussions with other parents, we decided to go for it. One coworker said “Just do it! And try giving her coins as a reward. My kid loved that!”
I was scared though. I had always heard that pottytraining was one of the most challenging parts of having toddlers. And I’ve seen the parents going through it, constantly asking “Do you have to go potty? Do you have to potty?” It seemed exhausting. And I even told my husband once that a pottytrained child doesn’t seem a lot easier than a diapered one. You would still need to help a lot with the clothes and wiping and handwashing. And of course there are going to be accidents. And probably in public! That terrified me.
But one day I took a leap and let her wear some underwear, and no diaper. And sometimes she made it to the toilet, sometimes she didn’t. At first, I tried to motivate her with praise, then with stickers, then with coins, until finally I found something that really worked. Candy. Not a lot, but some. And I’m sure some people don’t believe in this type of reward, but so far, it’s working for us.
It’s now been over a month. And she still has accidents sometimes. In fact, recently we had our first in-public accident. (Editor’s note: See Erin’s blog at fwfamily.com to read about it.) But it wasn’t so bad. I’m proud of the progress she’s making. She now will stay dry during naps and during the whole night. She’s even taken long car trips without a single accident.
I know some kids are potty-trained in just a few days and that is wonderful, but I think uncommon, so I’m glad I didn’t set myself up for this kind of goal.
So maybe we’re not perfect yet, and maybe our success has more to do with her than our “approach.” But, I do think it has helped us to not set high expectations and just go with the flow. No pun intended.
Now I feel like I’ve gotten through another big parenting hurdle, and as always the fear was worse than the realty. And I have to admit, it’s really nice to not buy diapers anymore. At least for a few months … until our next baby arrives.
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